I am admiting things to myself these days. This does not come easy to someone who has known everything since they were fourteen years of age--quoted by my father on many occasions. I am admitting that I want to be a blogger?? That sounds so funny to me- especially since it is a little after 4 am and I've been up for at least 20 minutes already.
I wanted to be up early, I should have specified the time more clear.
It's this quiet darkness that I can have my own time to reflect and not feel that I should be doing other things. Right now I can be honest and say that I want to succeed in my writing. I want to be able to write well enough that people enjoy what I have to say and then come back for more and then maybe even tell their friends. I would like to feel that I don't have to check the "how many visits to your site button" everyday and then think back to how many times it was myself looking at my own site. I would like to trust myself not to give up or get discouraged and know that "if you do it long enough you will be good at it in time." I need to have faith in myself to not let the people who inspire me also discourage me because I'm feeling insecure. I need to understand that it's okay no matter how it lands but that perhaps it will be acceptable if I twitch my nose, say a few choice words, blink, and have you all writing me letters telling me how wonderful I am on hundred dollar bills.