Jimmy Buffet whispered in my ear..

You would think that this was painful..me being forced to write something in my own blog in which I took the time to create and fantasize daily about it being just amazing.  But that is me and I learn about myself daily and painfully.

So about Buffet and last night.  I wish it were sweet nothings he whispered in my ear because that would mean my life could actually be one heck of a comic book, alas however it is not.  Instead the lyric, the only one I know in the song, "my head hurts, my feet stink, and I don't love jesus" kept repeating itself in my mind.  However with every third rendition I would enter my own ailments making it personal.  And so you wonder what medical condition could I have that would keep me up at night making personal attacks against the Messiah.  Well I'll just tell you that as I was laying exhausted awaiting a peaceful slumber I was plagued by the weather that everyone I know, myself included, has been dreaming of.  And again I remember why I am happier when its hot.  My sinuses were so clogged that the thought of not breathing anymore almost seemed favorable.  So as I was snorting and gasping for air, sounding very much like my mothers adopted boston terrier, I also was able to dry out my throat and chap my lips in the process.

But it doesn't end there because a week earlier I had tried valiantly to remove two fingers from my left hand and now they are trying to grow back together which creates an itchy painful feeling.  Part of the fingers being numb and the other part decorated with electric blue string laced together like they belong to Frankenstein, it makes for a very senstive area to scratch like you want to. 

Which now leads me to the last most embarassing symptom of being extremely itchy in a very sensitive place, and no I'm not being redundant and talking about my fingers.  It's a part of the body I am not comfortable mentioning by name just yet in such a pubic forum.  Oops forgot the L -- Gross you say but if you google pregnant, vagina and itchy you realize that I am so not alone.  Thank freakin goodness...just a small price to pay for creating a human.  And now you can insert where you like the new lyrics to Jimmy's song however I am sure that he would never in a million years figured it that way.