Sunday, December 20, 2009

Life is either a great adventure or nothing." ~Hellen Keller 

I just read this quote on another blog and it urged me to get busy.  Right now everything just seems to be a struggle for me and i am fighting an eternal battle within myself.  I realise that there is so much more going on and so when i find the ability to forgive myself i do.  It still does not make it any easier when i know that i am also a procrastinator and closet lazy person.. I'm working on it.

But for now I am just adjusting.  Meaning my pants, deepness of my breath, legs, shoulders, back, and my head.  Trying to wrap my mind around what is coming.  There is a baby on the way!!  Tomorrow is 37 weeks and full term in the eyes of  people I've not met who make the rules.  The excitement is a strong undercurrent through all our household conversations.  I feel prepared in that I am ready to have this child.  I am so excited to meet this new person!   Barry asks me if i am visualizing the experience--which i am not really except that i have these fancy glimpses of tears of accomplishment.  I just tell myself that I can do this of course!!

As my mid-wife has said, "no baby has ever stayed in."  And I am looking foward to re-counting the experience.  Whatever it may hold..goodness, total goodness. 

Until that moment though i am trying to not eat every cookie in the house.  I am thankful that the leg cramps have subsided, and the itching, and am okay with wanting to chew ice all day.  I have gone over the journey here and there in my mind.  How lucky I am to have the started the year with my own business and ending the year with a completely different life path and being okay with it all.  I learned from a friend to light candles.  So now in every room there can be a delicous scent that greets you.  I was smart and plugged my christmas tree lights into an outlet that can be turned on from the wall so most every moment it is sparkling.  I am playing music all day and realise now that i need to dance more.  Excuse me for this broad range of sub-conscious writing it is feeling good to me.  Life is amazing--and to my aunt gail--thanks for the panty liners--i love you always.

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